Shrimp Trampi $14
Forget lemon garlic butter. This shrimp won’t be held back by bigoted Christian ideas of morality.
MS-13 Meatballs $17
Get ready for murder in your mouth. These meatballs will assault your taste buds in a way Swedish meatballs won’t.
Earth-first Bean Dip $9
Unlike other bean dips, we only use gasless beans so your flatulence won’t destroy the ozone.
Planned Parenthood platter $25
You may think you’ve made a mistake. Well feel free to send this one back anytime! Our butcher will take it out back and get rid of it.
Pasta Union $197
Honestly, pretty low quality. But for $50 more you can have better. Promise.
Open Borders Soup and Salad $12
This is all served on one plate so everything just runs together. Very inclusive.
Be a better father to your kids than your dad ever was. Maybe your dad was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Maybe he was worthless scumbag who abused you or ran out on you. No matter what he was, be better than him. That is one of your main duties as a father. Part of the rot we see in society today is sons growing up to mirror their fathers. We see this everywhere. Deadbeat dads who ran out on their sons tend to have had a deadbeat dad who did the same. Deviant dads tend to have had a father who did the same. Alcoholic dads tend to have had a father who did the same. What your dad did or didn’t do is on HIM. He’ll have to answer to God for that one day. What you do with your life is on you. And you will answer for it. We all screw up as dads from time to time. That’s just life. But leave what you’ve done in the past, in the past. From this day on, be a better dad than yours ever was. If he was a good dad, that’s what he’d want. If he was a bad one, screw him anyway.:)
Happy Father’s Day.
“I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.”—Alexander the Great
Some men walk into a room and the room just belongs to them. The head guy in the room. The man in charge. It doesn’t matter if it’s a room of five or a room of 500, everyone looks.
It’s not a height thing. It’s not a wealth thing. It’s not about brains or brawn or what kind of car he drives. It is simply a matter of having “it,” and “it” is a quality that few men possess.
Luckily for America, Trump has this in spades. It may be maddening to his domestic opponents in the media, but it is positively enraging to America’s enemies. And we are a lucky nation for it.
As someone who once vehemently opposed Trump (I poured my heart and soul into getting Ted Cruz the GOP nomination), so many parts of Trump’s nomination were difficult to fathom. Looking back on it, I should have known better. Every debate was all about Trump. Every TV interview, no matter the candidate, was all about Trump. The media and the moderators made it all about Trump.
In the end, for those who loved and those who hated him, the voters made it all about Trump. Because he’s simply one of those guys who create a gravitational pull around him. Wherever he goes, it’s all about Trump. Even the general election was all about him. (Granted, it helped that his opponent, Nurse Ratched, gave people little to cheer about.)
Why People Avoid This Truth
People avoid this subject for a couple of reasons. Some avoid it because it’s difficult to define. One can no more define “it” than Bill Clinton can define “is.” But most avoid it because they want to be that guy and simply do not have what it takes.
It is the natural instinct of a man to want to be “the man.” Men don’t flock to movies about the guy who never gets the girl and slaves away in middle management, unless that movie is a comedy and they’re there to laugh at him. Men watch “Gladiator.” Men revere professional athletes. Men honor the warriors of our military. A man wants to sit on a throne he just conquered and have the people chant his name. But God didn’t make many of those men.
Some men—and we all know someone like this—have been so consumed by jealousy that they hate “the man” simply because he is what they want to be and cannot achieve. We all know this guy. There are hundreds of them running around news rooms and college campuses in America. He’s the one with a journalism (or law) degree from Yale and no girlfriend.
He uses words like “assiduous” in casual conversations with friends. He knows they don’t understand that word, but soul-crushing student loan debt and big words are all he has in life and, dang it, he’s going to use them. He thinks this makes him look smart and admirable. It doesn’t. It makes him look like a snobby jerk who talks over people’s heads.
Trump Is Used to Being in Boardrooms Calling Shots
I used to scoff at Trump’s early supporters claiming he was some master dealmaker. Trump’s guiding principles may not be limiting spending or a return to constitutional government, but his guiding principle of making “the deal” sure is paying off. I once laughed at people who would throw that “He’s a deal maker!” stuff around.
Maybe—and this has never happened to me before—I was wrong. Trump’s marriage to “the deal” can and does make small-government conservatives pull their hair out when he sits at the table with Democrats after a school shooting and voices his support for limiting Second Amendment rights. That’s the bad part.
But there are plenty of good parts. The DC Beltway types who spend their lives hammering out 2,000- word essays about what a bumbling dullard Trump is (when they’re not staring longingly at their 11th grade debate team trophies), well, those guys were just plain wrong.
The truth is Trump has spent his life in boardrooms hammering out deals. And he’s used to being in charge of that boardroom. This is not a small thing, especially when dealing with male-dominated dictatorial cultures like North Korea and Iran. Trump knows how to handle himself with other powerful men, and that is worth something tangible.
Donald Is What Barack Never Could Be
Part of the journalistic angst that Trump is that guy comes from the fact their savior, Barack Obama, just could never be. There are two big reasons Obama’s foreign policy had all the staying power of raw shrimp in a hot car. His natural inclination to agree with foreign dictators that America is an evil place in need of “fundamental change,” as he put it, hurt him when dealing with them.
But what hurt him the most was his rank amateur status at anything involving the real world. He never stood in a room of powerful men used to getting what they want and trying to assert their dominance. He moved seamlessly through a world of academia, liberal activism, then politics. It’s not even reasonable to expect a man to stroll off the cushy world of liberal academia into a room of wolves and expect him to perform. He got eaten alive. Conservatives joked about that video of Obama curling women’s yoga weights, but maybe the mullahs of Iran were laughing too.
And those mullahs respect Trump. They hate his guts, but they respect him. They just recently recovered from the sore stomach muscles they got from laughing at Obama’s capitulation, just in time to have Trump take Obama’s crappy deal and rip it up in front of their faces. So, let them burn American flags and Trump posters. They do so with the knowledge they can no longer treat the American president like a piñata.
Never in my life have I been more thankful to be wrong. With so much insanity in the world today, I am happy he’s my president. Now, I am no prophet. The rest of Trump’s presidency could be a domestic policy disaster full of deficit spending and gun control. He could lurch to the left. A scandal could take him down. The market could crash.
Nobody knows. But one thing I do know is he won’t ever walk into a room too big for him. Because Donald Trump is the room.
“When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another…” — The Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776
Divorce is hard, but it’s easier than cutting the brake lines on your wife’s car. It is long past time for an amicable divorce of the United States of America. There is simply no common ground with the Left anymore. We are now the couple screaming at each other all night, every night as the kids hide in their room.
We cannot come together, but we do not have to live like this. The history of the world is nations breaking up and redrawing their borders. If we want to avoid this political divide turning into a deadly one, we should do likewise.
Stop clinging to the past and acknowledge where we are as a country, not where you want us to be, not where things were when your grandpa was storming the beaches of Normandy. Where we truly are.
We are a nation hopelessly divided. We are more divided now than we have ever been in our history. And before you start screaming at me about the Civil War, keep in mind that bloody conflict was fought over one major issue. In those days, take ten families from New York and ten families from Alabama, put them all in a room, and you’d find they mostly had the same values (and bad accents).
Now, fast-forward to today and do that same thing. Those families have virtually nothing in common. We as a nation have polarized and separated from each other.
Anyone who thinks this is a radical idea has an extremely narrow view of history. If you don’t believe me, go try to book a plane ticket to Czechoslovakia, or look at a map of Europe from the year 1600, then look at one today. See any differences? Borders move. Countries split and change hands. They do this for a myriad of reasons. Ours would be a major cultural shift toward the left and half the country refusing to go along with tyranny.
I have been championing this idea for a while, and it appears others are catching on. Just last week, a group of lawmakers in South Carolina introduced a bill that would allow the state to secede if the federal government starts seizing guns.
Why would those lawmakers even be worried about such a thing? Because Democrats are saying it—and not just some hippie chick with armpit hair at a vegan rally. When a former justice of the Supreme Court of the United States calls for a repeal of the Second Amendment, we should take the Left seriously.
The GOP has many problems, but the Democratic Party has turned into something completely un-American. The United States was founded on two things: Judeo-Christian values and a limited federal government. The entire platform of modern Democrats stands completely opposite both of those.
This is the party that booed the very mention of the word “God” at their 2016 convention. This is the party whose candidates openly “joke” about killinganyone who won’t turn in his weapons. Their senators joke on national TV about killing the U.S. president, and the host responds by clapping like a seal.
The 1960s counter-culture liberal protestor who just wanted free weed and an end to the war in Vietnam has been replaced by a man who hunts down Steve Scalise and tries to kill him at baseball practice. The Left is not playing games. They are getting bolder, and they are getting more violent. They have no interest in rational compromises. Like all authoritarian ideologies, they want you to bow down before them or be destroyed for daring to resist.
If you believe in God and limited government, here are the entities that now proclaim their hatred of you in full view of the public: The Democratic Party, media, Hollywood, the public education system, and now even corporate America. The GOP may have the House, Senate, and presidency, but we have completely lost the culture war.
It does not have to be this way. There is a difficult, but ultimately peaceful path that ends with everyone getting most of what they want. We divide the nation in two. We can and will draw the map and argue over it a million different ways for a million different reasons, but draw it we must. I’ve got my own map, and I suspect the final draft would look similar.
The peaceful solution. pic.twitter.com/LVZwP7h70b
— Jesse Kelly® (@JesseKellyDC) April 7, 2018
People say both sides disagree on everything, but that is not entirely true. A mass shooting happens at a high school in Florida. Both sides do agree something should be done. People on the Right think we should increase school safety. People on the Left think we should restrict the gun rights of every American citizen, and they’ll try to destroy the career of anyone who disagrees.
Illegal immigrants are pouring across the border. The Right calls for increased border security. The Left offers them sanctuary cities and protection from federal enforcement.
Every issue plays out this same way, and people on the Right will only accept this kind of abuse for so long. Sooner or later, the left-wing rage mob will start coming for the careers (and lives) of any normal American who sees things differently.
This idea of breaking up the country may seem a bit outlandish now, but you won’t think so once real domestic unrest comes to your town. Our political disagreements have become a powder keg, one that already would have blown if conservatives had liberals’ emotional instability.
Nobody is expected to cheer for this split. Cheering is not a normal reaction when couples get a divorce. We cheer for old married people on their fiftieth wedding anniversary.
But life is imperfect. Life is hard. We both now agree that living under the other side’s value system is wholly unacceptable. The most peaceful solution we Americans can hope for now is to go our separate ways. So let us come together one last time and agree on one thing: Irreconcilable differences.